Tick tock

April 12th, 2015

Leaving My Comfort Zone

I’ve always taken comfort in planning things out.
When I was 10 years old I had a 10-year plan. By the time I was 20 I would be halfway through my bachelor’s degree and in the recruiting process for NASA. I was convinced I was going to be an astronaut, then the space program got cut. I still read books full of pointless facts about how many moons Jupiter had and the chance of water on the moons. I knew that I wouldn’t be an astronaut but I didn’t really want to change my plans.
When I got into high school everyone started asking me what I wanted to be but it was different than when I was little when people ask you what you want to be when you were little they didn’t actually expect you to know what you want to be. When you start getting to high school and people ask you what you want to be they expect you to have some sort of idea.
I think that it’s positively stupid that a bunch of adults would think that a bunch of kids would know what they want to do before they even attend the junior prom. You look at schools, you take the right classes in high school to get into the programs that fit the school that you’ve picked and just because you pick the school doesn’t mean that schools pick you.
My new plan I was going to be an art therapist, this plan lasted 6 months.
new plan 2.0, I was going to be a lighting designer. I would tour with bands, see the world. I had this glamorized picture in my head of what it would be like. my freshman year of college I decided that before I declared lighting design my major that I would work as a house designer for a local music Hall. I did this for 3 months, met some pretty incredible people and eat some really good food. the downside, I work from 2 p.m. to 2 a.m. 5 days in a row every week rinse repeat Plus school. I didn’t realize how hard it was to be a full-time student and a full-time employee. On top of all of it, this was my first time being a full-time college student and a full-time employee. the lifestyle wasn’t what I expected and it wasn’t nearly as glamorous as I thought it would be. I wouldn’t change the experience for anything don’t get me wrong, sometimes the best experiences are when you realize you’ve made the wrong choice.
so what is time, is not what this post is supposed to be about in the first place. time is arbitrary, plans will change, things will be thrown at you and the ideal life that you have in your head will make you laugh in 10 years.
most recent new plan – cybercrime or law, criminal justice or history major. these are my new decisions, the one thing in life I want to be able to count on is to always have new decision. my outlook on life is a little bit different now than it was when I was 10 and though it’s only been 8 years and not the full 10 years then my plan intended I have a new 10 your plan.
My plan is to be curious, to explore both myself and the world around me, to be around people that make my plan accomplishable and to be there for my friends and family even when it seems inconvenient.
time is arbitrary because we think that we have this limited amount of it. We have all the time that we want to have, and we have all the time that we need. for some they only need a couple of days or months or years for others they need many months so many days for many years. time is arbitrary because we put numbers on things when we should number things that the experience. there’s a time and place for mathematics, for calculus risks and planning down to the decimal. There’s also time to do nothing, to sit on your couch and chug a beer. to stumble through Pinterest or to browse Tumblr eating a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream crying over the stupidest little things. Life doesn’t come with a manual because there’s no such thing as a manual for life.
I hear parents say the kids don’t come with manuals, it’s the same reason life doesn’t. Each is individualized just as every person is an individual. There’s no recipe and there’s no perfect answer. Everyone is reaching for a different result so how could there be a manual for everyone to reaching for a different result.
You can’t use time as an excuse just as you can’t use it as a justification. Just because you did something faster than someone else or you did it differently than someone else doesn’t mean that it’s any better or worse than anybody else. you’re living the best of your life and you’re using your time exactly how you’re supposed to be. Cuddling with your cat, raising a child, climbing the Alps in your late fifties or even crashing on your parent’s couch because your initial 10-year plan only ended up working for about 5 years. things change people change and time will go on. Don’t let the person you were from the past be let down because the person you are right now isn’t the person you thought you were going to be. you’re just as good if not better than the person you thought you were going to be, and the person you’re going to be is even better than you are now.
summer is approaching my lovelies and you know what that means, 3 months to work like hell and to get a tan. Sometimes it’s okay to be arbitrary and sometimes it’s okay to be cliche.

Ana

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